Subscribe via RSS Feed Join us on LinkedIn Connect on YouTube

Gay Romance and the Moment of Silence

July 24, 2019

gay romance

On my commute to work one day the infamous “Mercury is in Retrograde” concept consumed this radio show’s morning conversation. For once, it wasn’t related to gay romance. I’ve been indifferent about those things and see a similarity in my opinion when someone asks me the merit on astrological alignment in compatibility like in gay romance. From what I understand of this period of time, it’s about a shift of sorts whether that be in your schedules or existing or even past relationships. What I really loved about this conversation is how one deals with these certain shifts. This radio show qualified this navigation into the “3 R’s”: Review, Reflect, and Reassess. I come from more of a quantifiable logical mindset in the sense that here we are in the start of summer and we simply get busier with social events or traveling. This act causes a shift in how we balance and spend our time and energy – maybe even in something gay romance related.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I sit in the silence of my car and my mind randomly wanders. It could range from what cheese I think will go best with the charcuterie and wine I’m using for a dinner party to the next thing that consumed my mind – Instagram influencers. Coming from an anthropological standpoint, I find them so fascinating. A big amount of these theories are hypothetical, but I do have a rhyme and reason to them. If I scroll through my Instagram around the topics that are geared towards me, I would say 90%+ of these people are consistently single and/or alone in their photos. A distant colleague summed them up perfectly: “You want to post that really good picture of yourself, but just posting the picture seems too vain, so you attach some completely unrelated prose in an attempt to distract from the fact that the picture is really the point of your post, yet nobody reads the words but says ‘you look amazing!’ and you get to accept the compliment that you were really after in the first place, completely guilt free.”  Thanks for reminding me to smile today, but did it have to be with you shirtless and with short-shorts on? I more rarely see a couple in gay romance collectively doing an account together. What’s interesting about this concept is that we feel we belong to someone because we ourselves have chosen to “follow” them, even though we’ve most likely never spoken a word to them and made a true connection. However, they are actually preaching a fabrication of one’s optimal life – amazing vacations they are taking all the time without having to work, showing their consistent shirtless selfies when nothing has really changed about their body, to preaching about a product they tried only once to maybe not ever use again. The allure of this is preaching a life of narcissism and unrealistic expectations. I don’t want to come across a myriad of photos that remind me of what I feel I can’t achieve whether that be financial freedom, looks, or this whimsical adventurous lifestyle. A person that is selfless with his or her actions will never preach or advertise their genuine nature – they let the silence of that speak for themselves. However, silence and that act is…boring. People never want to see someone having a bad day on Instagram because that represents us “following” someone that will cause us to stop and think more deeply. That moment is actually the moment we can grow the most. However, that moment isn’t exactly the prettiest and most exciting thing to notice. Just in case you need a reminder, when things are in chaos, that moment of how you navigate causes more growth for you – maybe even more balance in this time of “retrograde.” Even though Instagram is more of a visual medium, I find it funny that we almost always will click on something more sullen, dramatic, or outlandish from a Facebook headline compared to a fluffy kitty cat making a funny face. We humans are quite interesting, aren’t we?

I was speaking to a dear friend the other day and she was definitely going through a time of emotional turbulence. She felt betrayed and disrespected and rightfully so. Her point of growth was taking some time to do those 3 R’s and realizing the importance she has to place on herself. When things go awry, she places the blame on herself because that is the easy route in fixing a situation – she will always be accountable for herself. What she doesn’t and needs to realize is the power of saying “no” to someone and not giving that power away. This moment can sometimes happen while in gay romance. Something I learned a few years ago was realizing where to cut my loses in my life to help me strengthen the “wins.” It was the most invigorating thing to do and placed me in a mental state that was fair and balanced. If I knew I did all I could possibly do to be authentically genuine, compassionately sympathetic, and true to myself – I really had nothing to dwell on. I am ready and prepared myself for gay romance. I myself stood on the higher ground and gave someone else the option to realize my efforts or to be left behind. “When they go low, we go high” became so real to me, and funny enough I was reminded of that conviction just days ago from writing this article.

Filed in: Dating Tips

Comments are closed.