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Gay Online Dating Tips and Knowing Thy Limits

May 29, 2019

gay online dating tipsLimits. We all have them. I can give you a million gay online dating tips, but do you follow your own? How can we balance our own limits and yet also balance the respect we have on others’?

I hope I will always come from a place of optimism and poise when the world seems to be collapsing. I found myself in the deep ravine of life and unable to get up and even breath. On a Thursday in March, I was casually sitting in some traffic on my way to meet some close friends for dinner and then I blinked. I open my eyes and realized that there was a car folded into mine behind me, smoke coming out of their car, and my car crunched into the car in front of me. I was just in a major collision on the freeway – oh my God. I remember seeing my phone on my dashboard jammed behind the windshield and I also remember the smell of wet pavement, because why wouldn’t it start pouring rain right at this opportune moment? The guy that hit me at 60 MPH was allegedly texting and driving. It can wait, folks.

Fast forward almost two months, and I am now in a major lawsuit from the impact and how it has created skeletal issues for me. I might also have another lawsuit with how the collision center has dealt with my car repair. There have been days where my phone has almost died two times from all of the calls and e-mails from everyone involved. I am tired of being tired. Then I realized the entire process has been about me letting my limits known – something I see especially with gay online dating tips. A close friend of mine and I discussed our differences in how we see quality time and it was a very healthy conversation. We also talked about us always trying to come from a place of love. In the case of my accident – screw love, I’m no longer being nice. I’ve been very understanding, patient, communicative,  and now it is the responsibility of the other parties to return the same courtesy. I needed to give myself permission to be beyond frustrated and feel that emotional pain. If I don’t, I might “pop,” as that same friend cautioned me. This was a learning lesson for me and one of many great gay online dating tips.

I remember me going to my neighborhood sandwich shop the other day and it was about 15 minutes until closing time. As I approached the place, an older gentleman with freshly died black hair walks in front of me. I just knew right away that he was going to be difficult. With this sandwich shop, you have maybe 5 options of toppings to place on your sandwich. This can’t be complicated, right? Oh no, just wait. He instructed the sandwich artist to cut out the bread on the bottom part, but forgot to mention to do it on the top part. The young lady making the sandwich tried her best to close the sandwich and was unable to. You would think that this young woman killed his cat because the gentleman got so distraught that he walked away with the biggest overly exaggerated sigh with his hands on his face. After she of course started over, he wanted “more veggies” and this was probably the most lettuce and tomato I have ever seen on a sub sandwich. As she was trying her best to fix things, he sat at a cafe table and was loudly saying, “it’s fine, charge me for the extra bread. Money isn’t the issue.” She was not able to close the sandwich, but the gentleman was then satisfied. Gosh, I don’t even know where to begin with this dolt. A psychologist friend of mine added, “that guy is an authoritarian person and only respects those who set their behaviors to suit him. These people are very troublesome and should be avoided. With people like that, just ignore their over tackle responses because it would take time if they ever could understand another person’s perspective.” Instead of criticizing him, it made me think about my own way of thinking when things are going haywire. Sometimes we request something, get angry with its results, but in the end, because we haven’t thought through things thoroughly, we realize that our intentions and expectations are quite foolish. This taught me to balance an impulse to a proven limit. It taught me to stop and analyze myself before I criticized someone else. Let this one of many gay online dating tips you’ve read before sink in with you.

Through my healing from my accident, I’ve really reached the point of rediscovering my inner child and finding the extra joy in my life. It was a dark few months and I felt I was becoming ill and clinically depressed. Many gay online dating tips might have you look into this notion of recognizing if your normal coping mechanisms are effective and healthy. I’m still battling this demon even today. Because the issue of mental health runs rampant in my family tree, I needed to take some action and fast. I have to be responsible for myself so I can be authentically present and responsible for others I wholeheartedly deem as “my tribe.” It’s been important for me to communicate with my friends that I won’t be hanging out with them as much as I need to set aside time or maybe even a full day to do nothing – to be present with and prioritize myself. Because my ties to them are strong, they understood. The moral of this entire story is to really listen to yourself, soak in these gay online dating tips, be kind, but also learn to say “no” if you feel something isn’t right, after given it some realistic focus. There is power in that two letter word, because I will always yield more power than its three-lettered counterpart.

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