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Gay Men Love Who Are Ambitious, but Boring

October 4, 2017

gay men loveAs I approached the normalcy of my life after my majestic trip to Europe for my 30th birthday, like many gay men love, I started to notice that my schedule became exuberantly tight and very busy. I am pretty good at managing life’s stressors, but man, was September a busy month – the busiest month so far by a landslide. I came across this video about ambitious people being labeled as “boring.” In the forefront of my mind, I was puzzled to why these attributes would be considered to be in the same sentence. I mean, many gay men love would assume the same inclination, right?  The more I thought about it, I actually stepped out of my internal self, and started to realize that yes, super busy people are in fact big snoozes. Why, you ask? That video brings forth the notion that the actual act of ambition can be set to be the only defining factor of a person’s being. Many gay men love can struggle with a blance or work and personal life. The person you will fall head over heels for will kick some serious butt in the workplace, but is also fun who has interesting things about his personality that has nothing to do with his work. Someone recently told me that he went on a date in which he was asked to pretend to be a “business affiliate” as his date conducted a business meeting. This person also made this poor fella wait for him while he got his haircut done. The one guy wanted to meet other gay men love, and the other just didn’t show it. Um, this selfish man is not only completely out of line, but is treating his date like his assistant – something work-related. Have a nice life!

The more you say yes to work, the more you say no to yourself and your personal time. Many gay men love, who are ready for, know their limits and boundaries with their personal and work time. More importantly, you then start to diminish the quality of your life and the relationships that surround it. I think it’s proper etiquette to confirm with someone ahead of time, especially when someone might have went out of his way to plan a date with you: first impressions, my friends! Things change, and slip your mind – we’re only human. Just be aware of this becoming something habitual. Consistent poor time management choices can affect your personal success, and can give your power of trust a flippant label. Whenever I am juggling appointments, I’m usually stern about being punctual and asking how much time and energy I should allocate beforehand. By doing this, I hold power in responsibility and my integrity as an entrepreneur. I only want to represent gay men love, that actually want it. This act places me in a pragmatic, but comfortable headspace, and prevents me from being a stressed-out space cadet.

One of the owners of our company and I had a great informal conversation about this, and I thought what she said was very eloquent. “The flip side of the coin is that as a matchmaker, we are spending our time getting to know if someone is in the right timing and frame of mind to meet someone special. We spend our time to save the client’s time. Keeping an appointment with me, means you are keeping an appointment with yourself to find love, (which) means you will most likely keep an appointment with (that) someone special I try hard to introduce to you and so forth. That gives a more complete picture.” And of course, we reschedule appointments all the time, but there seems to be a correlation in our working relationship with someone who is punctual versus two hours late for their initial appointment. ​

I started to revert back to a chapter in my book about how you kind of have to divorce your job, and give it visiting rights only to find love – if that is what you are seeking. I wrote this book aiming to help gay men love look into both themselves and other potential partners. Speaking from experience, I have learned to schedule around my friend and personal time. I’ve never really viewed that sacred time as readily mobile: it takes priority, and for many reasons. This is a personal reason why I couldn’t date an “artist” where their livelihood is dropping everything to make a gig they found out about yesterday. Just a personal choice, of course. I can’t do a good job at work if my “me” time or the connection I have with my cherished friendships suffer. My soul thrives on community, and it’s in my best interest to keep that sacred. I can probably count on one hand the past few years where I have cancelled on a friend. I just don’t do it, and when it does happen, it happens so infrequently that my friends understand that something came up that was completely unexpected and out of my control. And when that happens, I always offer an alternative game plan – the same goes for dating. If you cancel on someone, you now have been given the responsibility to plan and coordinate the rescheduled date. Hello, that’s the right thing to do (insert smiley face emoji). And if someone responds with “I’m busy all week,” after doing so, with no subsequent offer, they are just not that into you and move on. He is one of those gay men love who doesn’t practice what he preaches. I am all about given people a chance, and I too get in weeks where I am packed to the brim, but I don’t have time to wait on someone who can’t reciprocate or take me being responsibly forthright seriously.

gay men love

Maybe it’s just me being super self-conscious about not being labeled a typical flake, or maybe I should take pride in the fact that those relationships, including the one I have with myself, is how I maintain equilibrium. The thing though is that we often get bored by people who keep flaking on us. Yunno, doing the same action and getting the same (sans) response back. Because of that, people just fall through the cracks, and I am guilty of this at times. I love connecting with someone at a dinner party on a platonic level, but once I’ve tried to get together with that someone two or three times, I’m done being the instigator. The phone works both ways, pal. I have proven that I can make the time for someone, and I don’t have time to reconfirm a confirmation in which I was the one to initiate the meeting anyway. I hand hold enough as a matchmaker, and I’m not having that leech into my social life.

I was an event recently and one of the main organizers brought forth the idea of kindness. It’s something that we often miss or overlook. If we see someone struggling, we offer help, because we as compassionate humans need to help one another generously. Through heavy amounts of destruction and devastation as we’ve seen in recent news, it honestly brings people together in a way. Gay men love will spread love and warmth effortlessly. If a person is super busy, try to make it convenient for them to see you. You could be in their same shoes next month, and then they’ll return the favor, hopefully. If we can also be kind and understanding with our time, we have nothing to lose. Happy scheduling, and always be dynamic and optimistically memorable – never boring.

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